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Divorce 6 (4)

Looking to the Future: Six Ways You Can Heal from a Divorce

Going through a divorce isn’t easy for anyone. Even if you initiated it, it’s likely you will experience a lot of different, and sometimes conflicting emotions. You may go through periods of pain, grief, anger, and loneliness, but you also might experience a sense of relief, a new found confidence and an inner peace knowing that you are out of a relationship that, for whatever reason, wasn’t working for you.

There is no denying that divorce can be a traumatic experience and it takes time to work through the grieving process and begin to heal. Paying attention to your emotions and employing strategies to help you cope means you can do this faster and become able to move forward with your life.

Here are six ways you can heal from a divorce.

1. Know who to turn to

In times of difficulty, it is important to gather those closest to you and let them know what’s going on. Having a strong support system is vital as these are the people who will listen when you need them to, who will check in on you when you are feeling at your lowest, who will bring you dinners when you don’t feel like cooking, take you out when you need cheering up, and just generally be there for you when you need it most.

2. Don’t shy away from professional help

If you feel that talking to a professional could help you better make sense of the emotions you are experiencing, don’t be afraid to do so. Lots of people find it difficult to get past a divorce and can feel confused and angry about the way the relationship ended or may feel guilty and ashamed or believe that they failed at marriage. Talking to someone with experience in helping people deal with these kinds of problems can give a person clarity, and allow them to forgive themselves or their ex, so they are free of that burden.

3. Don’t bottle things up

It can be so easy to put on a brave face and convince yourself that everything is fine by keeping your feelings pushed down and just trying to get on with life. The problem with this is that you aren’t really allowing yourself to heal. It’s far better to face the way you feel deal with those emotions head-on as soon as possible, so then you can move on knowing that these emotions won’t resurface and cause you problems later down the line or affect your future relationships. Talking to people you trust, hiring a counselor, or even just writing things down can be incredibly cathartic and help you unpack your feelings.

4. Take up new hobbies

Divorce is a time of change, and while looking back and allowing yourself the time and space to mourn the lost relationship is fine, trying to be positive and looking to the future can also help you to see what benefits divorce can bring. Taking up new hobbies and doing things you didn’t do (but perhaps always wanted to) can give you a sense of freedom and fulfillment that can help with the healing process.

5. Don’t isolate yourself

Staying sociable is also essential. If you’re feeling down about the divorce, it’s so easy to want to stay inside and wallow. However, accepting offers from friends to go for lunch or out for the day will help take your mind off things, and you’ll end up having fun and feeling more positive by the end of it too.

6. Take your time

One of the most important ways to heal is to make sure that you don’t rush it. Doing so is like pulling off a band-aid too soon, and you’ll never be able to properly heal if you don’t allow yourself to go through the process as fully and completely as possible. Time, after all, is the greatest healer of all.

Divorce can be tough, but the wounds of going through a divorce will heal providing you can effectively deal with your emotions. Use the tips above to help get you there faster and keep moving forward. At Haas Tharrington, we know how difficult going through a divorce can be. If you would like to speak to one of our experienced, compassionate lawyers to discuss your divorce and see how we can help, call us at 919-783-9669 for a confidential consultation.